Time: The Great Thief

 

Clock

My body sits upright, legs pulled underneath desk, pen in hand. Stacks and stacks of papers fill the space before me.  While my body is present, my mind is far away, out for a walk on the beach or curled up underneath a tree while reading a summer novel.

I mentally drift back into the classroom suddenly aware that time has been ticking by. It hasn’t stopped for my thoughts to catch up. Time stole the minutes from my life when I needed to grade, to assess. Time stole free time from my future self. Time is selfish.

Anxiety begins to build as I wonder aloud how I will get through it all. If only time stopped for a day, only for me. Or maybe I could hire a grader from care.com. Those commercials on t.v. show busy individuals relieved from their burdens by hiring help. They are so carefree. Is that even legal? Ethical?

I snap back to the piles. Relax. Breathe. Slowly. Don’t breathe too deeply. Can someone hear me breathing loudly? What would they think if they walked in right now?

My mind might be more selfish than time. It is selfish, fighting for some space to think of something other than work, other than grading and emails and to do lists.

And so I turn to my blog. I begin to write for myself, to clear my mind, to give it space. I write for the audience I have not met but long to hear from daily. I write to validate my thoughts, to understand my feelings and to connect.

Our minds and souls need spaces to reflect, to connect, to breathe mentally. I turn back to the piles, with a little less anxiety and a little less time, but with a bit more sanity.

4 Comments

  1. This perfectly captures why we write, and why we must insist on writing. I love the little moment in the middle where you even worry about breathing too hard – so easy to relate to!

  2. So true! Often we need to step away, do something else and come back in order to begin with a fresh perspective.

  3. I loved how you said your “mind fights for space to think of something other than work. ” That really resonated with me.

  4. I feel your pain! Somehow March is the month in which everything converges at once–report cards, conferences, testing, mid-year evals,—oh yeah, and then there’s the kids! Writing has always been my escape! Glad you’ve found that too!

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