I Will Not Apologize

Dear Students,

You asked me the other day if I write about you. You asked me to read you a piece inspired by you. This is a  piece inspired by you, my family.


Your Teacher


Snippets of a typical conversation:

Stranger: Do you have children?

Me: No, not yet.

Stranger: How many children do you have?

Me: None. I hope I start soon or I’ll be too old!

Stranger: Don’t you want children?

Me: My mom wants grandchildren. I’m her last hope.


Today’s conversation:

Stranger: Are you dating?

Me: No. I just don’t find anyone I want to date…..And that is okay.


That is the first time in a long time that I haven’t cracked a joke about not having s boyfriend or children. I realize that I consistently make fun of myself for the fact that I am not dating seriously and don’t have children. There is this idea that if I don’t have kids I am somehow “less than”. This message is reiterated in pop culture, from strangers and even my own family.

The fact is, I have a classroom full of students that I worry about, rejoice over and marvel at EVERY SINGLE DAY! I go home to grade papers and plan to make sure that they are learning. I worry that my lessons are too fast or that all the talking distracts students from learning. I loose sleep over the students who aren’t focused and the students who have too much going on at home to do well in class. On the way to school I talk through my day. Some morning my eyes open at 5 a.m., brain on fire, sparking thoughts and ideas.

I love my job but I don’t think I could do it and have children and do everything else that balances out my life: soccer, traveling, writing, cooking.

I choose this chaotic, messy, adventure-filled life. I am not dating and I don’t have kids and that’s okay. In fact, I prefer it. Children are a choice, not better or worse, just a choice.  Maybe next time when someone asks if I have kids, I will say, “I have 30 children, five days a week and they are amazing!



  1. Jennifer Morales

    March 18, 2015 at 7:46 pm

    Can I just say, “Thank you!” I get asked the same questions weekly. To be honest, I sarcastically say that I have 31. And to be even more honest, I do. Our students are our children. You stand up for who you are and you are perfect the way you are!

  2. Amen!!!! People ask me that all the time!!! I simply reply that I have more than 150 (high school) of them and they keep me crazy busy, which they do!!! Right now I wouldn’t have it any other way!

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