Our class just finished reading Call it Courage. I was intrigued by the beautiful language and complex sentence structure of the book. The author, Armstrong Sperry, often uses opposite phrases.
“There were six black canoes, paddles flashing, now gaining, now losing.”
“Moonlight shone on half a hundred wet paddles as they dipped and rose to the rhythm of the chant.”
He also uses repetition. ex: “homeward, homeward…” “Closer, closer the canoes advanced.”
And sometimes both techniques together: “Only the sea and the sky, the sea and the sky.”
Then I was reminded of the rhythmic language of Hoops by Walter Dean Myers.
I decided to pick some event in my day that had a dualistic or repetitive aspect. I just went back to playing soccer last night. I play on an indoor team with a great group of women. We have good seasons, so so seasons and awful seasons. This is an awful season. Last night we lost, again.
The Dance on the Field
The back and forth rhythm
of the ball,
black
and
white
rolling,
b O u N c I n G
F L Y I N G
through the air- two players attack it,
Looking to posses it,
to own it.
The crash of knees, shinguards, cleats,
Possession by the home team
a chance to score
Feet skittering in a cat-like
back
and
forth
motion,
quick movements ready to pounce,
Eyes watching, mouths shouting, hands clapping
“I’m open”
“Linea, linea”
“Cruza”
A glance, a pass….
too far
A run down field to…
a sea of opposing players
Possession lost
Players retreating towards the goal
hunkering down to defend
protect
black
and
white
ball
rolling, touching cleats
Player and ball dancing down field
towards the goal
defenders standing their ground
focusing not on the feet
focusing only on the ball
the forward winding up and
shooting
and
scoring.
Players in motion
Blurs of light and sound
Moving to the rhythm of the game.
March 20, 2014 at 10:18 am
I love your poem. Nice job☺️😊
March 20, 2014 at 10:19 am
I liked how you said a sea of opposing players.
-Miguel 😀
March 20, 2014 at 10:20 am
I like how you said moving to the rhythm of the game
😅
March 20, 2014 at 10:20 am
Why is bouncing and flying capitalized.
March 20, 2014 at 10:21 am
I like how you made the word bouncing Look like it was bouncing.
March 20, 2014 at 10:21 am
I liked the description you put into the poem. 🙂
March 20, 2014 at 10:24 am
Very descriptive I love the sports theme and one line in peticular “feet skittering cat-like”
March 20, 2014 at 10:25 am
With the balls, what game were you playing?
March 20, 2014 at 10:27 am
I think she was playing soccer
March 20, 2014 at 10:26 am
Some golden lines I found in this piece were,
“bOuNcInG”
“a sea of opposing players”
“player and ball dancing down field”
“Moving to the rhythm of the game”
March 20, 2014 at 10:27 am
I liked when you wrote BoUnCiNg I could see the ball bouncing.
March 20, 2014 at 10:27 am
My golden line was moving to the rhythmic the game
-kellan
March 20, 2014 at 10:27 am
I really how you use personification and imagery sentences.
March 20, 2014 at 10:27 am
My ‘golden line’ was when you said
“Moving to the rhythm of the game. You made it sound like a song, not a soccer game. 👏👏👏👏👏👏
March 20, 2014 at 10:28 am
Protect I like that line because it looks serious.
White
And
Ball
March 20, 2014 at 10:28 am
I liked the up down zigzag of the ball. It was cool and descriptive.
March 20, 2014 at 10:29 am
My golden line were
“bOuNcInG”
“a sea of opposing players”
“Moving to the rhythm of the game”
March 20, 2014 at 10:29 am
I like all the creative lines like the ball dancing down the field
March 20, 2014 at 10:29 am
I like how you added Spanish words in the poem.
March 20, 2014 at 10:29 am
I love how you made it to where bouncing looks like it’s bouncing
March 20, 2014 at 10:29 am
I really liked the personification quote- “player and ball dancing down the field”.
March 20, 2014 at 10:29 am
I liked how you put words in Spanish “cruza” “linea linea” it gave the poem a little more spice to your poem.
March 20, 2014 at 10:30 am
I meant to add a quote after “game.
March 20, 2014 at 10:30 am
I like how you added “Blurs of light and sound” because it showed good imagery to me.
March 20, 2014 at 4:03 pm
My favorite line was ” a sea of opposing players” because it was really descriptive.